Mocking and the Changing Landscape Of Bullying

The Words Matter Lesson plan link is at the bottom of the page.

When I was in middle school I was mocked by the other kids everyday. They would mock my cloths, hair style, appearance…pretty much everything. The locker room mocking was the worst. Even the PE teacher mocked me.  I was ostracized on the playground, beat up randomly, the last to be picked for the team . School was a living hell. The authority figures including teachers, principles, counselors and parents did not want to know and didn’t seem to care. This was a “Christian” school.

I was ostracized the same at the after school church boys group (Cadets) just the same by the boys and the leaders.

The constant mistreatment wore me down. I learned to hate other people.  In high school, when several middle schools combined, the torment letup some. There were kids from other schools that had never met me and were not pre-influenced to join in the mocking. But, by then, the psychological damage had been done. I was very wary of forming any close relationships with anyone. Still today, 50 years later, the residual effects remain.

When I was a child, suicide and murder were not prevalent. Those actions as solutions weren’t even on anyone’s radar.  Today, however, murder and suicide are at the forefront of possible solutions within our societies thoughts. I understand how kids are driven to those actions by what some people consider a little innocuous ribbing.

Where we are today:

This week our church quietly installed cameras and instituted other security measures which includes armed guards. That people in our congregation are packing concealed weapons is no surprise, in a town where the Girl Scouts raffle off firearms in front of the local grocery store. That the Elders, and Deacons need to rotate armed guard duty as part of their responsibilities is rather perturbing.

This week I learned of the suicide of a young man from my  former churches Sunday school class. I was saddened.  A local student committed suicide as well.  My youth group attendees were largely unperturbed.  It’s just a fact-of-life.  It has become an accepted option for them.

The enemy has slowly calloused our hearts to great evil.

My Middle School Class:

This is a small church. I have less than 12 kids in Sunday School. Yet one third have decided to identify as trans, gender fluid, or some other sexual aberration offered by the LBGQ+ society. Local school authorities believe there is an active group who’s goal is to influence students to embrace the LBGQ+ ideology. These students are being mocked by, you guessed it, the “believers,” in the class. I’m certain that these youngsters have no clue of the long lasting terrible effects their mocking and harassment is having on their class mates.

While I, in no way, affirm the LBGQ+ lifestyle (we’ve had lessons about that) I will not tolerate anyone being mean to anyone else. I have spoken to the students responsible and we will have this lesson in class. However, if the harassment and mocking doesn’t stop I will prohibit them from attending and contact their parents.

Mocking others seems to be acceptable adult behavior

I will expect some flack from the parents as I suspect that this is where the kids are getting the notion that mocking people who are different then them is acceptable behavior. Adults use words like racism, homophobia, etc. that sound more adult but it’s still just childish mocking.

Those children who mocked me are now adults still exhibiting the same behavior. Is it any wonder that they can blindly follow an abhorrent man holding the office of president who does the same thing every day?

We, myself included, endeavor to teach them right from wrong, biblical values, and discernment. But, it seems we may have missed the mark on teaching acceptance of  sinners, and compassion for others like Jesus did.

Micro-Aggression

Here’s a new term for classifying this seemingly innocuous behavior of mocking: Columbia professor Derald Sue defined microaggression as  “common verbal, behavioral, and environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile or negative slights to marginalized groups.”

While this may be a term born from the LBGQ+ community trying to defend itself it is accurate and true and no less valid. Mocking causes life long psychological issues. Mocking can be compared to Chinese water torture. One little slight is a fairly innocuous thing. But years of constant “slights” can have very negative effects on people.

Matthew 12:34 You brood of vipers (speaking to Pharisees), how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

I should not judge people who do not live up to Biblical standards…unless they’re professing Christians.

The apostle Paul said:

1 Corinthians 5:12-13: What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside.

While I do not necessarily agree with the LBGQ+ lifestyle I will not teach children that it’s OK to mock them. That I need to deal with this in a Christian Sunday school setting is a little shocking. But, I’m glad that there are students in my class who are not yet believers because these are exactly the youngsters I hope to influence.

Those who are doing the mocking need to learn that this is ungodly behavior contrary to Christ’s teachings.

Your Words Matter

In this lesson we will consider the effects of constant mocking on King David. He was mocked for trusting the LORD.

We will realize that Jesus (God) understands that mocking hurts because He was mocked. Because of this those of us who are being abused in this way can pray and expect Him to understand the hurt.

Then we’ll see how King David’s self-image was negatively impacted by mocking. We show that mocking someone is the same as mocking God and finish by looking at positive words we can use instead.

This is a one page lesson plan with leaders guide. There is a YouTube® video suggestion you can play either at the beginning or end of the lesson.

Good followup lessons would be Judging V.S. Judgemental and Dealing with Bullies.

Supporting the weird kid

Here’s a fun YouTube® clip from the movie Billy Madison showing billy supporting the kid who wet his pants on a school outing.

I suggest showing this clip after the lesson then talking about the cost of supporting the “weird” kids.

Support will look to the other kids like you are befriending the weird kid. Your “friends” might turn against you. Then you become the weird kid. Your social life could be ruined. Could you handle it?

Challenge your youth group to stand up for the poor and downtrodden like Jesus did.